Advice From A Girl

Dear Amanda:


My boyfriend cheated on me. Should I forgive him? --Aly, WY

Advice: Depends. Cheated on you how? Did he have sex with another girl? Did he kiss another girl? Or did he flirt with another girl? No matter what he did, different people consider different things as cheating. Usually, for me, the bottom line is whether he's even sorry or not. Did he come up to you, be straight with you, and apologize? You may never be able to trust him again, but if you love him and you know he loves you and he was sincere in his apology, forgiveness might be worth thinking about. However... If you found out about the cheating from someone else and he did not apologize, it may be time to find a new boyfriend. So, think about whether you love him enough to give him a second chance or if it's dumping time. In the end, the choice is yours. 



I want to have sex, but my girlfriend wants to wait until marriage. How can I get her to change her mind? --Brad, TN

Advice: If you really love her, you'll respect her wishes. If she wants to wait until marriage, then it's probably for religious reasons. Pressuring her to change her mind is bound to end in disasters. Think about whether you love her enough to wait. If you think you can't wait until marriage, end it now. No girl wants to be pressured for sex.



I cut myself, but all my friends tell me to stop. What should I do? --Casey, CA

Advice: Listen to your friends and stop! Cutting is very dangerous, especially if you do it on the wrists. If you cut yourself in just the right place, just the right way, you could die! I imagine you are probably too young to die. Cutting is a very serious thing. Go to your parents, guardian, or another trusted adult and tell them you have a problem. Seek help from a therapist or psychologist. Let someone help you sort through whatever problems you have that is causing you to inflict pain. There are many sites and hotlines that will help you. Go to Google and search them. I hope you get better.



Why are girls so confusing? --Cameron, FL

Advice: Why are boys so confusing? I'm guessing you want to know what goes on inside a girl's mind. Girls want to know the same things about boys. Boys and girls have different personalities and traits. They think differently and react differently which is what makes them so confusing to each other. A guy can't understand why girls are so emotional and a girl can't understand how guys keep it all in. Girls typically want someone to talk to, but they don't want you giving them advice. A girl will get emotional over simple things. If you don't call a girl right away, they often think you don't care. Just like boys, girls are complicated. It's not something that can easily be explained right here. I suggest that if you want to know how girls work, go the mall, sit down, and watch them. But don't stare. Also, if you're not too embarrassed, go to your mom and have her talk to you about girls. You could also read a girls' magazine. Hope this helps a little.



Is God real? --Lucy, ND

Advice: "Is God real"? This isn't the kind of question I usually expect, but I'll answer it anyway. Look... As much I hate to say this, God is real depending on your beliefs. I, myself, truly believe that God is real. I believe he made this universe and the creatures that reside in this world. However, a majority of the world doesn't believe in God. I would love to say, "yes, God is as real as you and I. God is as real as the trees that grow in our yards. God is as real as the sky above us. In fact, God is all this. God made everything and put a little bit of himself in all of it." But the right thing to say would be, "Do you believe in God? Do you believe that there is a divine that made all of this, that breathed the life in us? If so, then yes, God is real."

My boyfriend forgot my birthday! Should I dump him? --Erin, SC

Advice: For forgetting your birthday? No! Look, accidents happen and that's no reason to dump someone. Did you tell him it was your birthday? And/or did he apologize for forgetting? If there was no way for him to know it was your birthday, then that's fault on your part. When it comes to guys, you have to remind them sometimes. And if they forget, let it slide. Now, if you knew for an absolute fact that he knew it was your birthday, then you have a right to be upset. Especially if he made any promises to you. But don't dump him for forgetting your birthday!



I've never been on a date and I don't know how to ask out a girl. --Drew, FL

Advice: Easy! First, say hi. If she shows any interest, compliment her on something. You could say something like, "I like your shirt. It's cute." The girl will be flattered. Start a conversation with her. Many people find it weird if you ask out someone you don't know. So, get to know her first. Then, when you're comfortable and the girl looks like she's comfortable, ask her if she'd like to join you to the movies, or bowling, or whatever. If you're not ready to ask her on a date then, you could ask for her email address, and then write to her and ask through the email. As long as you're polite, gentlemanly, and present yourself well, any girl will consider you if she's single. But I won't guarantee dates.



I just got out of a long-term relationship and some of my friends say I should start dating and some of my friends say I should stay single. What do you think? --Lindsey, TX

Advice: What do you think? Do you think you're ready for a new relationship? Think about what you want and what you're ready for. Your friends can't tell you what to do. Only you can. But if you think you're ready, make sure you're really ready, because one of the worst things you can do is go into a rebound.



I'm a boy and my sister told me that boys get boobs when they hit puberty. Is that true? --Samuel, GA

Advice: Yes and no. Most boys would prefer to call them pecs. I know that my boyfriend denies that he has breasts or, as you called them, "boobs". When a boy hits puberty, many things change. They have growth spurts, their voices get deeper, they get pimples, they grow body hair, and they develop breast tissues. Now, they develop much less tissues than girls, which is why they never really look like breasts, but some boys do develop more breast tissue than others which is where the sometimes offensive term "man-boobs" comes in. Since I don't know your age, I don't know whether you've hit puberty already or not, but if you already have and you're worried that your chest might be developing larger than normal, don't worry. You're not alone. Abnormally large "pecs" is a condition called gynecomastia. If it makes you feel any better, there are sites on this condition as well as sites about what to expect when going through puberty. Take some time to search Google and do some research. Good luck!